Passover: Combat Simulation User Guide

Select your Avatar (one only): Moses, Pharaoh, Aaron, Brutal Overseer, Hebrews, Egyptians, Magus, Angel of Death, Courtiers, Army of Egyptian Chariots, First Born Children, Guilt of Jewish Mothers, Plague of Locusts.Battle 1: Moses vs PharaohBattle 2: Angel of Death vs First Born ChildrenBattle 1: Moses treads warily around the outer perimeter. He wears a torn and dirty desert robe, and a sweaty

wondering the Underlands

Always, Ze returns to the Underlands, drawn to the mystery like a moth to the flame. Traversing the dark corridors in dreams and visions, ze luxuriates in the excitement of remembering that which ze has never known. Through that hidden world where no other travellers walk, zer soundless footsteps trace the chaotic labyrinthine complexity of caverns, chambers, tunnels and avenues entwining like

five pussies feast on Satanic breakfast

And while they were thusly engaged did Satan, the Fallen, emerge upon them as a plague of rats, swarming verminously in teeming thousands. The lost souls--terrified beyond measure, moaning piteously--huddled in a tight circle while the evil flowed lazily around them and into the spaces between their trembling limbs...Until five lithe and savage pussies--Jesus, Zoroaster, Moses, Mohamed and Buddha

flesh of my flesh

As Horace contemplated the yellow-green ball of quivering snot upon his nicotine stained forefinger, he thought he would burst with joy, or if not, then implode with sadness. Ah, the pangs of love: the highs and lows, the fasts, the slows..."Snotty," exclaimed Horace poignantly, "dost thou still love me as I do thee? Wherefore thy cold silence, my darling, why dost thou respondeth not? When one

what goes around

Once around a time, lived (?) a little girl called Maria Innerear. The problem with Maria was she was unbalanced. Her proprioperceptive sense had been permanently degraded by a virulent post-natal inner ear infection that a drunken obstetrician had failed to notice, let alone treat. As a result, Maria could only walk in circles, clockwise. Walking Widdershins made her throw up.Maria lived in a

the person is someone else

Good morning. Another day. More pain. More disappointment. More anger. For a person who has solved the puzzle of life, answered the deepest questions of meaning and purpose and the nature of reality, ze is a pretty unsatisfied, unhappy little person. For a person who considers zirself to be so fucking smarter than anyone else, ze is a pretty dumb little person. Anxious, nervous, depressed. Small

see what you made me do

As the anger rose, the killing frenzy intensified. Pints of blood became gallons of blood and then rivers, then oceans… vast glaciers of sap, and ooze and alien life force liquids and all that kind of stuff… crushed cockroach juice everywhere, everything covered in rotting gel…Eventually, when ze had killed every single living thing in an entire universe, ze paused and took a deep breath, panting