my bad

Once, when we were little, Jonnie and me were playing and Jonnie got hurt, and started crying.I started larfing. Jonnie hated that, when you started larfing at him. Then mum came and blamed me for everything and said she was going to tell dad. And I got really upset and screamed at mum and pushed her, just a little push… Can't remember what happened next, but anyway, that's how I got my bad.

can't even do nothing properly

One day dad went into McDonald's for a burger but it was quite busy and he had to wait in line. Also, the teenage staff weren't very efficient: one was flirting with a boy from her school, another was talking on her mobile, and another was just plain slow and useless full stop. Dad got more and more impatient. He had a terrible hangover and all he wanted was a nice greasy burger to throw to the

eat but not excrete

Once there was a very advanced species of lifeform. Their civilisation was so glitteringly sophisticated and required so much energy to keep it going that they had to construct special devices around entire galaxies to capture every last smidgin, joule, erg, electron-volt of energy emitted from all the suns within all those galaxies.After a while they realised that even those huge amounts of